Reflections of our Future

August 14, 2013

I found this journal entry while looking at some old computer files this morning.  Even though it is not in order by date, I wanted to include it so that we can look back and realize the Lords hands in the details of our lives.

January 25, 2012

The last few weeks have been a big test of faith and hard as I try to make what is happening into a concise plan.  If I do A then B will happen.  As I have been learning and has I have learned many times in the past, the Lord does not work that way. 

The events of the last few weeks culminated with last night.  Daniel and I were called to meet with the Stake Presidency.  Last night at  7:15 we went to the appointment and the call was extended to Daniel to be the second councilor in the new Bishopric that will be sustained and set apart on Sunday at ward conference.  At that time Daniel will also be set apart by his dad as a high priest. 

I know that this is a custom fit calling for Daniel and that he has been prepared for this.  He will learn and grow so much as well and our family will be blessed.  Daniel has a way of crossing all barriers with people and making the feel welcome and loved.  He is also a great an eloquent teacher.  Currently we teach the 16-18 year old Sunday school class and trade of each week.  I am always in awe when he teaches.  How lucky I am to have him teach our children.  We are all given talents and I struggle to get what I am trying to teach across.

Yesterday I felt excited and strong as we talked about his fears and worries related to this upcoming calling.  Today, I had a chance to think more and cried as my fears rose to the surface.  I will have a 14 month old and a new baby that I will need to care for while he is already at meetings on Sundays, and where he will be gone on weeknights my support and tagteam is being torn apart.  I know if may seem trivial, but with very little sleep and two young children, I am not sure how I am going to feed, nurse, change, give baths and cuddle two little girls by myself.  I can pull off 8 hours, but the long days from 6 a.m. when Daniel has to go to work early until 9 p.m. when he get home from visits, bishopric meeting or young mens activities will be a challenge.  

I am trying to have faith, and I know it will all work out.  I hope I look back on this time and can expound later how it all became part of life and that we were blessed. 

We also planned on moving and were moving forward with plans to list our house in April.  That is not what the Lord had planned apparently and we will now be staying at least three more years.  Daniel said we will reevaluate at that point.  We will be and do what the Lord wants.  I know this calling will prepare us for the path that the Lord has planned.  I will try to use my faith to follow his plan and be flexible with my own plan.  I am just so thankful I have the gospel to lean on.  If I did not know that the lord was in charge of this church it would be hard to put my will on the altar and try to let my plan go. 

Molly is due to be born on March 29^th.  I am so excited to welcome her into our family.  This pregnancy has been relatively easy.  I have never had morning sickness and being busy with Sophie has made this time go very fast.  I am now having a hard time walking because it hurts, but only 8 more weeks and she will be here. 

The Lord will bless us.  I just pray he continues to give me the strength it will take to support Daniel and be the mother that Sophie and Molly deserve.